Still thinking positive thoughts for you all.

Best wishes

Kathy

You're a good person to have positive thoughts for because you deserve them, as everyone who writes here does.

I know I may not always write (I have a head like a sieve a lot of the time). However, whenever I think of you and yours, I will always be hoping for the best, and that life's treating you kindly.

Best wishes.

Kathy

Good luck for tomorrow, although I'm sure you don't need it.

Best wishes

Kathy

It's difficult to put myself in your partner's position. I don't know if you remember me saying that he may be handling his illness in the way he needs to. By which, I mean that when the questions about what is happening to him with his cancer are answered, he will be able to focus on the important things outside it.

In the meantime, I imagine that his cancer treatments are taking up his thinking space. I don't know what they are, but any treatments such as medication, radiotherapy, chemotherapy may have side - effects that mean your partner seems indifferent to a lot of what is going on around him. I can only suggest that you google the name of the various treatments, and check anything you read with his doctors.

I understand that you have been as honest and open about your feeling as you could be, and that you have been uncertain of his own feelings towards you and about you. However, all I can suggest is that you have patience in this delicate situation, and hope that everything goes well for you both.

Best wishes

Kathy

I have just come out of hospital after 7 weeks of recovery after bowel surgery...I am to start my radiotherapy and chemo in 4 weeks and can totally sympathise with what Kathy mentioned on the focus perspective.

As I have been married for nearly 20 years (I am only 46) I know my wife is standing by me as my rock even though at times my focus is on my illness, treatment and daily routines of medication. I do find it very difficult at times to focus on anything else. Other times I feel totally selfish and push myself to be strong for my wife and daughters.

You sound like a lovely supportive person and to be honest I cannot add to anything that Kathy has said (she is great isn't she, as she looks after me too!)

Keep on with the support as it sounds like he needs it....as a friend, I am sure that is not what you want deep down however you are prepared to support him as a friend so keep your chin up and who knows what the future brings.

Finally, you mentioned the word terminal - obviously this needs confirming however my eldest daughters partner's mum was give the terminal message and told she had a year to live...that was 7 years ago and she is still going strong....in fact two of the treatments she has been given were not even available 7 years ago as Cancer treament is progressing at a positive rate!

All the very best

Tony xx

Glad to hear you're feeling a lot calmer. Hope it stays that way. Also glad to hear you're focussing on your daughter, as well as your partner.

It's not so good to hear that you're having to play a guessing game with your partners stage of his condition, but maybe he's going to need to accept where he's at before he can tell you. I suppose there's confirmation of his condtition in different ways for him; one comes from what his doctors tell him, but it can also be a confirmation of the reality of each cancer stage when he tells you or anyone else. Then until he says it out loud to someone else, he does'nt have to admit it to himself or deal with it. This is all guesswork on my part, because he may simply be protecting you from the truth.

To be honest, I don't know, Kate. Just that it's important you can feel at peace with yourself. Easier said than done, I know.

Take care

Kathy