Below is an e-mail from a friend In Indianapolis, a U S National [Track] Cycling champion, a Breast Cancer survivor. Tumor reduction with 4 rounds of Chemo then a double Mastectomy (9-14-04) following Chemo. Lymph node biopsy turned up Negative for cancer! Hurray! Reconstructive surgery 12-9-04.
C has just completed chemotherapy for a recurrance of her Breast Cancer.
We may have cancer, and we don't get a choice in that particular lottery in life - but we do have a choice in how we react to that situation. Do we give in? **** NO! We fight! And one element of that fight is to maintain as much of normal life, of what makes us who and what we are. As Lance Armstrong said "Attitude is everything!"
C's e-mail -
Ok... so I had my last chemo session on Wednesday... so I
had to do something to celebrate, Right?
Knowing from my previous sessions that my pre-meds would "protect"
me till Friday afternoon... The Indiana state track cycling championships
started this morning. The first race on the schedule... my
favorite...the 500 metres. So I decided to do it. With virtually no
training or blood cells (my hgb was 10 and HCT was 30 on Wednesday, and
my oncologist decided that she wants me to, get this, "build my own
blood cells before surgery"... I don't get that.) I know that I do
have some muscle memory left. So I did it.
K [Husband] was supportive of course... but I didn't tell
my Mom, who is here taking care of the house and M [Daughter] (and me) while I go through the worst of "stuff"... so I snuck out this morning.
I felt like **** really... but I was on the bike and this was my
favorite event. I didn't get much above 29 mph in the warm up. I
thought about K [my friend] when I was on the start line... and
how she felt trying to make all the mountain passes. And I remembered my words to her... "It's the journey, It's the BEING there."
I'm here, I thought... I'm not dead yet... and I'm doing one of my favorite things. No big expectations. I told K and my Trainer from last year, who were both at the start, "Don't cry for me Argentina"... no world
records to be set here today. The countdown begins. I am relaxed... no expectations, just ride... just go.
I know I can go faster... I know I can go stronger... but what can I
expect... all that really mattered was that I was riding.
29 mph on the computer... now just try to maintain it. The
last half lap is always the hardest... it's when you NEED your red blood
cells.
Push, push, push... almost done. Done. Listen for the time to be
announced. 2 seconds slower than my time at U S Nationals last
year.
I am not too disappointed. I proved that I am still alive... not to
others.. but to myself. 2 seconds... Not bad at all... I know I can get
that back for Nationals next year.
Now the after max effort with no [red] blood cells shakiness
sets in... get on the trainer and cool down. Looking at the posting of all
the times after it is all over... I won my age group. I may be
down... but I am not out.
Just thought I would share... Let you know that even though we may
have cancer... cancer does not have us (entirely)
Don't give up what makes you feel like You!
Find your moments, make your memories and accept that we have to go through some of this to maintain who we are.
C in Indianapolis... waiting for the pre-meds to wear off.
(aloxi and decadron .. to keep me from throwing up...in case you were
wondering)
