I am new to this too. I myself have not had cancer (found a lump but it turned out ok) but i lost my dad 5 years ago, my sister is 5 years in remission (they were both in for treatment at the same time!) and my mother in law has just finished a course of treatment and may need more. It is not easy to be the glue that holds eveything together at times so i understand a bit how you are feeling. We live over 3 hours from the nearest hospital so every course of treatment was planned like a military operation! Dad spent 4 Christmases in hospital which ment a 3 hour drive there and a 3 hour drive back just to go in and lift his spirits a bit on christmas day. My mum would stay on a hotel near by just incase of any problems and myself and my partner wopuld be on call to go at a minutes notice if there was any problems and also to provide transport home as my mum does not drive and my dad had had most of both legs removed to try and stop the cancer spreading. We did all this (more than willingly i should add i would have gone to the moon and back if i thought it would help my dad) without any help because like yourselfs my dad was told he could not get any help financially!! Dad had spent all his working life paying taxes and now when he needed a little help in return there was none so i do understand your frustration because i have been in that position myself. The worst of it is that it is all happening again with my mother in law this time and i feel usless in lifting the burden off my father in law as i know there will be no help again with money. Both are now retired so on a small income and therefore myself and my partner have dusted off the driving shoes and are again calling in all kinds of favours at work to get the time off to be of any help we can. I should add that when dad was at home ( a further hour or more from where i live) that his local nurse was fantastic. I couldn't have asked for a better person to be helping mum and dad when i couldn't and also the macmillian nurses who granted dads last wish to be at home with the family when the time came - couldn't have managed it without them and again now they are trying to help my in laws as best they can, they are trully fantastic people. I guess the sort answer is there is not alot of help you get financially but with the love and support of your family you can get through it. it's not easy but having people who have been there and understand does help.

wishing you all the best

Daisychain

I read your posting and I just wanted to let you know I think it is disgusting that your parents are not entitled to any benefits and you and your husband for that matter (for being the duty drivers all the time.) You are in my thoughts and if I had the power to change anything for you I would.

Best Wishes

Honesty

Hi,

Sorry to hear you're having so much trouble. I had a similar problem when i tried claiming at first. I was initially refused any benefit as they said that as I had been working one day a week it meant i wasnt incapacitated. Anyway, after getting no where at all with the useless people on the helplines i got hold of my local mp. Suffice to say after a call from the local MPs office I soon got a call from someone higher up in the Jobcentre and they were able to sort it all out all of a sudden. There are so many different things to claim, that its worth trying that route. Cant hurt and you'll be sure that you arent missing out on anything.

Xoch