In Support of the moderator ...: Cancer Research UK Forum

18 Replies Last post: 01-Dec-2008 17:17 by Goldenbird 1 2 Previous Next

In Support of the moderator

28-Nov-2008 17:22

Bubbles 336 posts since
07-Jul-2008

Hi Everyone,

I just wanted to say a few words about this new thread on this site for people who want to e-mail each other privately. I also want to say about the messages excluding other members from reading them because they are in code.

Whilst I understand why members are doing this as they have been reprimanded on the site by the moderator and I do agree that should have been done privately, I do feel that the purpose of the moderator is to make sure no infornation is given out that is not medically sound and correct and to make sure hospitals, staff, etc. are not named because of legal reasons.

The threads with messages in code are excluding everyone else from joining in on the discussions and I am now wondering whether to stop coming onto this site as although I have been grateful for all your support and I in turn hope I have helped just a little bit with my support, I want to keep my annoynimity (sorry for the spelling)

The whole idea of this site I thought was so people in the same boat could communicate and give support without perhaps relatives etc knowing they were discussing them because we do tell each other the most intimate details of our lives and I for one would feel very uncomfortable in someone getting to know me and where I lived because that in turn would reveal the hospital we are under etc. In Short I want to retain my privacy and I feel this thread is now taking on a new dimension.

I hope I have not offended anyone by this post but I had to say something in defense of the moderator as I firmly believe they have a crucial part in keeping this site as it is at the moment.

My Warmest wishes go to you all.

Love

Bubbles.

Goldenbird 1,438 posts since
16-Sep-2008

1. 28-Nov-2008 17:53

in response to: Bubbles

Re: In Support of the moderator

OK Bubbles

I take your point (majorly) but if you want to stay anonymous then you can (and I think it's important).

But some people would not agree and everyone is different and want to do it THEIR way. So stay anonymous if you like but bear in mind there are different views from everone.

I agree that all would like to see all postings but some are best kept private so as not to offend. If you think I've offended then there is nothing to stop me from not posting but I think some people would not like that.

I'll give it a week without posting and blow it.

Goldenbird

tigger 296 posts since
07-Sep-2008

2. 28-Nov-2008 18:07

in response to: Bubbles

Re: In Support of the moderator

Hi Bubbles,

I agree strongly with what you have said. I don't want anyone else to know who I am - I have made a huge effort not to let most people around me know I had cancer at all.

I do however think there should be some way if you build up a particular bond with someone you could go to a "personal chat site" and discuss more personal details . Other sites have done this and I have e-mailed the administrators of the site regarding this in the past.

I sort of got drawn into the recent exchange about Mr Ramsey as I thought I could help in some way to make a wish come true for some one with a less favourable prognosis than I.

I know when I first started looking at this site I felt excluded as people were already very friendly and I felt I couldn't join in and although I still feel this occasionally i may now be a contributor to this.

I did try earlier and start a hello to new people thread but I think the bonds grow so quickly between cancer survivors it does become difficult not to get personal when you find a kindred spirit.

I find myself torn between wanting to share but not sharing too much.

Regards, Tigger x

Goldenbird 1,438 posts since
16-Sep-2008

3. 28-Nov-2008 18:16

in response to: tigger

Re: In Support of the moderator

Thanks Tigger

That is a very balanced view indeed and one does build up relationships with people as you say. I've already said this to the moderators and hope they can do something about it soon.

I also do not like people around me to know I have cancer but my husband has let "the cat out of the bag". However, this is another issue that I do not propose to address at the moment.

I hope you can do something for Cath's daughter as it sounds dire and perhaps some other treat will spring to mind if this one fails. I also agree with your last sentence.

With kind regards, Judith

tigger 296 posts since
07-Sep-2008

4. 28-Nov-2008 18:35

in response to: Goldenbird

Re: In Support of the moderator

Hi Goldenbird,

I don't think you ahve offended bubbles but I think she thinks her point of view may offend others.

If you can find a kindred spirit here then that is brill but I do agree with her that some personal bonds do exclude new people from starting. A side site where you can allocate "friends" and share information you do not want to be made public and be a bit more chatty may be beneficial. This may already be in progress and so please do not leave the forum.

This site is in its early days - just consider yourself a pioneer and sit it out - you may be involved in the evoultion to something great.

Wishing you well, Tigger

Goldenbird 1,438 posts since
16-Sep-2008

5. 28-Nov-2008 18:55

in response to: tigger

Re: In Support of the moderator

Oh Tigger I felt like crying when I saw your post. I hate being criticised I suppose (my son-in-law once called me an arrogant and selfish woman!!!) Maybe the first but NOT the second. (He is having anger management and my daughter is a very patient woman and is an assistant head at a comp in Leeds so is used to dealing with adolescents - however, the chap is a good Dad).

I am amazed that people should feel they are excluded and I think your idea of Welcome to people is great. I must admit I hesitated before I plunged in but if you plunge in then you will be rewarded. I'm feeling particularly sensitive at the mo because my tiny "tester tumour" in my neck seems to be re-appearing and I suppose I'll have to go and get a pill change. Not sure yet but it is a bit dodgey. At least there are other pills and I don't fancy Chemo.......

Any road thanks for your posting..

Love, Judith

tigger 296 posts since
07-Sep-2008

6. 28-Nov-2008 19:25

in response to: Goldenbird

Re: In Support of the moderator

Hi Judith,

Emotions etc always run high and low among us- it's the nature of the beast I never mean to upset anyone

I am running at a high at the moment as I have got an all clear for my 3 month checkup. My cancer is not one of the most common types but I would like to think I could still help others with life skills I have picked up and be a positive force for people.

I was very shy at school and beyond and have only recently "grown into my skin" I sometimes forget how shy I was at times. We all need you here on this forum and I did not intend to criticize in any way. All of you here have been on a lot hardrer journey than I have and I respect you so much.

wishing you well, Tigger

Goldenbird 1,438 posts since
16-Sep-2008

7. 28-Nov-2008 19:44

in response to: tigger

Re: In Support of the moderator

Don't be daft Tigger

You haven't offended me in any way whatsoever - quite the reverse in fact.

Oh shucks gotta go to a drinks do will continue later

Bubbles 336 posts since
07-Jul-2008

8. 28-Nov-2008 20:20

in response to: Bubbles

Re: In Support of the moderator

Im sorry I have upset you all but I felt I had to say something. I cannot help how I feel about this so Ive decided this will be my last posting.

I wish you all well for the future. Good luck.

Bubbles.

Rodis 804 posts since
25-Jun-2008

9. 28-Nov-2008 20:32

in response to: Bubbles

Re: In Support of the moderator

Hi Bubbles, Goldenbird and Tigger,

I do not intend to prolong this debate but wanted to say - 'live and let live' also - 'you can't please all of the people all of the time' As I have said in a previous thread I was very reluctant to post in this forum as everyone seemed so informed and knowledgeable but I continued to read the messages until the time came when I felt comfortable replying to a post, at no time did I feel uncomfortable.

With regard to the 'code' referred to I am at a loss to understand this, at no time have I been aware of any messages that contained codes that only a few could understand, perhaps someone could explain ?

I appreciate that many people would not wish to be identified but there are those of us who may wish to so why not allow this for those of a like mind?

I understand and appreciate the role of the moderators having been taken to task on two occasions,however, I hasten to add that, that was nothing to do with the reason for me not posting for a week or so.

Judith - if you feel the need take a break for a week - I found it beneficial, you often see things differently and some of these threads are very intensive emotionally and you are still at a vunerable stage in your 'recovery' Fortunately for me I am well down the road as a survivor - some may say 'well past my sell by date' !!

Bubbles,Tigger and everyone - keep posting your contributions are invaluable, everyone is allowed an opinion and you need not go public !!

Best wishes, Rodis.

Rodis 804 posts since
25-Jun-2008

10. 28-Nov-2008 21:16

in response to: Bubbles

Re: In Support of the moderator

Hi Bubbles,

I don't think you have upset anyone - certainly not me and I am sure not Goldenbird. We are all adults, each allowed opinions and to be able to express them in which ever way we feel appropriate, at times emotions run high particularly in this forum and I think you are going through a 'sticky patch'

Please do not make this hasty decision - take a time out as I did, I am sure this will help and hopefully it will make you reconsider.

You have made valuable contributions to this forum and I hope you have been helped through your difficulties so give your decision some further thought, you still have a lot to give. Best wishes and hugs, Rodis.

Goldenbird 1,438 posts since
16-Sep-2008

11. 28-Nov-2008 22:17

in response to: Bubbles

Re: In Support of the moderator

Please PLEASE do not give up. I nearly have and you are a fighter, Like me SO PLEASE DON'T give up. You help such a lot of people and DON'T give up...

With love and support and I don't want to bang on and don't give up...... Life is hard and we've all got to pull together. OK I've put my foot in it but ignore it lovey AND DO NOT GIVE UP. If you want me to feel guilty then give up.With much love and consideration and it is all so hard isn't it to live with this big C thing.

Love

Judith

Goldenbird 1,438 posts since
16-Sep-2008

12. 28-Nov-2008 22:59

in response to: Goldenbird

Re: In Support of the moderator

Sorry Tigger and we had a good "drinks do'.

What I really meant to say was not that I was offended by YOUR remarks but it took a bit of swallowing to ingest the remarks from Bubbles. Don't blame her for stating her view but the last thing I want to do is stop people like her from contributing to this forum and I appreciate your remarks and if I do not turn off this computer I'll get a smacking from my husband if I'm not careful....

Love, Judith xx

Rodis 804 posts since
25-Jun-2008

13. 30-Nov-2008 19:22

in response to: Bubbles

Re: In Support of the moderator

Hi Bubbles,

Just saying hello and I hope you are reconsidering your decision? Things are very quiet on the forum so we do need your input. Best wishes, Rodis.

tigger 296 posts since
07-Sep-2008

14. 30-Nov-2008 19:47

in response to: Rodis

Re: In Support of the moderator

Hi Bubbles

Come on girl, we need you.

Regards Tigger

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In Support of the moderator

28-Nov-2008 17:22

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