I know that sounds scary, but Hospices are about maintaining a good quality of life for a long as possible, and not just about the end of life. My local Hospice has complimentary therapies and physio available, and I have had both.

I have secondary breast cancer with bone mets in various places, and I had to have a hip replacement due to a pathological fracture of my right hip caused by a 4" x 2" tumour. I had a short course of rads to the femur afterwards. I am in the ZICE trial having Zoledronic Acid every 4 weeks to strengthen my bones, and recently changed from Tamoxifen to Letrozole as my hormone treatment. In July last year the tumour above my left knee had grown slightly, and then in August I went dairy and red meat free. In February this year a bone scan showed that the tumour about the knee could not be seen, and all the others had lessened in intensity. This is without chemo. May I suggest that you and/or your mother read Jane Plant's "Your Life in Your Hands". Also try canceractive.com to find out how you can help yourself.

Is your mother's cancer hormone positive or HER2 positive, or negatives? Mine is ER+ and HER2+. You can check out clinical trials on the main Cancer Research UK website, via the patient information button at the top of the page.

Good luck, and very definately you mum can have a decent life with mets. I work 4 days a week, and often 5 days, walked in the Race For Life in Bournemouth about 10 days ago and I feel better than I have done for years!

I hope your mum has an onc who communicates well. I have just changed my onc after getting incredibly frustrated by the evasion and lack of communication of my original onc.

Always make sure you chase up any x-rays or tests. One x-ray I had was not reported on so it was 7 weeks before it was looked at, and then only because I asked, after looking at it I was not allowed to leave the hospital as they realised my hip was about to collapse and 5 days later I had a total hip replacement. I had CT and bone scans in February and if I had not asked for the results I would have had to wait two months for the results! That was after having to push to get repeat scans done 13 months after the hip op, having been given no indication as to how things were going. My new onc says he would have ordered repeat scans after 3 months to see how I was responding to the treatment! They just don't seem to think that communication it important.

I find that taking moderate exercise also helps. I try and walk regularly as it is good exercise to strengthen the bones but if you mum is having problems in might be worth asking to be referred to a physio. The one at my local hospice is really good and has given me exercises to help with pain in my upper back, hopefully only caused by 20 years working as a cleaner. I have repeat scans in a month, so I'm hoping they are still good.

This is a really scary time, and mention of hospices makes it seem gloomy. I think I mentioned before that they are about achieving and maintaining a good quality of life for as long as possible, and they have therapists that can help with this. They also have counsellors who may be able to help you and your mum.

Oops another load of washing is just finishing, must dash - good luck and let us know how things are going and what the onc says. Vicki

That was the first set of scans for 13 months, with only indication of how things were going before that being an x-ray of my knee in July 08 which showed that the tumour at the knee had grown slightly. I have now changed oncologist to someone who communicates and at present I am happy to keep all other treatments in reserve. I have repeat scans in a month and I now have an onc who seems to be willing to do scans.

After finding out that you are Stage IV by them finally looking at an x-ray that was nearly 2 months old, and which had not been reported on, and realising that my hip was about to collapse, and I was not allowed to leave the hospital but was admitted straight away, to be left with no news for 13 months was dreadful. When I asked what the plans were I was told that they would come up with something when things got worse. I asked if there were markers and was told there were none - which I know is a lie. What really stressed me out was that they didn't listen to me about the pain in my hip when I was first dx in Sept 2007,and I told 5 doctors about it and the most interest I go was "that's interesting"! Since they obviously couldn't tell that the cancer had spread before I was dx and they were doing nothing to see how things were going, and they did not listen to me when I told them about symptoms, how the hell were they going to know when things got worse - and would it be too late by then? What is worse is that in May 2002 I had a hysterectomy and was told then that blood tests indicated I might have cancer. The marker was CA125 which is also a breast cancer marker, and I told the gynae and my GP repeatedly that my mother had breast cancer, and both recommended I take HRT! I did so reluctantly, and periodically for a year or so and gave up as I was not happy about it. I went to my GP several times over the years saying how bad my back and hip were getting and how tired I was but I think as far as she was concerned I was fat and depressed and a waste of time.

Needless to say my confidence in the medical profession is very low, and I chase up all my results. I had to ask for the scan results from Feb 09, otherwise I would not have been told for two months! Luckily they were really good. Sadly only complaining via PALS seemed to get any response, though I feel as though I am now considered to be a nuisance, bad tempered etc. But what the hell. The negligence of that hospital means I am going to die so what do I care if I hurt their feelings!

I am a bit wound up at the moment, but to the originator of this thread take note to question them and chase them about results etc until YOU are happy that everything is being done. I truly appreciate that the folks of the 'coal face' in hospitals work very hard and the problem is the massively over paid, over manned management that is destroying the NHS and needlessly costing millions that is the problem. Managers are RUBBISH but just can't see that, which in many ways is even worse, especially as they give themselves huge pay rises and expect the PEOPLE WHO DO THE WORK to get by on peanuts. If managers and politicians were really that good at their jobs we would not be in this recession. All I can say is Merchant Bankers!

Sorry about this! Vicki xx

I think I am going to ask the moderators to disable my account. This is rediculous! This site seems to be run by Nazis!

That will be alovely break for Goldenbird, there's nothing nicer than a mum being with her family.

I am also off on holiday with my family this week (if I ever get organized in time), my elder daughter is just back from Uni, she has now completed & passed her first year at York, she loves it there .We are all off to Abersoch in Wales, plenty of windsurfing & canoeing & hopefully some sun, although that is looking a bit doubtful at the moment, it's pretty cloudy & dull where we are in the midlands, so I expect it will end up being waterproof, wellies & long walks on the beach, don't thinkt hat will impress my daughters too much.

Tried the e-mail address but my computer would not send the message, it was telling me that part of the address was incorrect, but now writing this I realize why you wrote the address in the manner you did, I will try replacing the 'AT' with the more usual sign, hope I've got that right, I'm not very computer minded, but hopefully that will do the trick.

Congratulations on your recent marriage, best wishes, Tina.x