i have just arrived home from a weeks break in egypt..after we buried grandad on friday 6th the following wednesday i said to my husband i needed to get away from home..family ect so we took a last min 7 night break just the 3 of us and we arrived home early hours this morning,the break was great,weather hot and jaidan had a fab time,he needed it as much as i did with not really seeing me much over recent weeks/months.
the funeral went well,we had family come from ireland and i had made the decision to see my grandad in the chapel of rest because i knew i would have regretted it had i not gone...he looked beautiful,dressed in his sunday best suit and looked very much like my grandad rather than the ill man in his nightwear i had grown used to seeing...i was very pleased to see him so peaceful and looking very smartx x
my husband had dug out his grave on the thursday and on the day of the funeral he wanted to walk the hurst from the main chapel of the cemetry down to the grave(was able to do this as its part of his job)...first though,we all started out at grandads house and i had decided to write a piece on behalf of all the grandchildren explaining to his friends ect how wonderful he was and how lucky we all were,it was beautiful and i asked my sister to stand with me and she read it out as i was going to read a poem and didnt feel strong enough to do both.standing up there with the coffin before my feet was the hardest thing,but each time i nearly lost it through tears i looked at the coffin and remembered how proud he would be and that kept me together,and again i am so pleased i done it.the service was lovely and he had the best send off,i was so very proud too of my husband on the day,walking grandad to his final place of rest,and knew if grandad was looking down he too would have been smiling and proud of my husband too..it cant have been easy for him to do it,with his wife sat in the funeral car following the prosession,but he managed it and that vision will never leave my mind.
i would like to thank each of you who have gave support,advise and generally been there for me over the past year and i shall never forget it,you are all great people and i know at some point i will feel ready to help others who are going through what i have just been through,for the moment though,i am still weak and trying to come to terms with my loss.
i would like to share this beautiful poem i read out...i had it gave to me the week of the funeral and as soon as i read it,i knew my grandad would want me to share it........
To my dearest family,some things id like to say,
But first of all to let you know that ive arrived ok.
I am writing this from heaven,where i dwell with god above,
Where theres no more tears or sadness,there is just eternal love.
Please dont be unhappy,because im out of sight,
Remember that im with you...morning,noon and night.
That day i had to leave you,when life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me,and he said 'i welcome you'.
Then god gave me a list of things he wished for me to do
First on that of mine is to watch and care for you,
And i will be beside you,everyday,week and year..
When your sad im standing there to wipe away your tear.
But do not be afraid to cry,it does relieve the pain,
Remember there would be no flowers unless there were some rain,
I wish that i could tell you,all that god has planned,
But if i were to tell you this you would not understand.
So if you meet someone,who is down and feeling low,
Just lend a hand and pick them up and on your way you go.
When your walking down the street and i am on your mind,
Im walking in your footsteps,only half a step behind.
And when you feel a gentle breeze or the wind upon your face,
Thats me giving you a great big hug,or just a soft embrace.
And when its time for you to go,from your body free,
Remember your not going,your coming home to me.
X x X x X always in my heart grandad,i love you.
