Most times this forum is sufficient as a fantastic tool to communicate and gain valuable support and other times you just wish you could just reach out and give someone a great big hug!

Although we dont get the physical hugs I do feel that sometimes the hugs are there in the words as sometimes you just cannot find what to say to people in need.

I was diagnosed with bowel cancer on 24/12 and up for surgery this coming Thursday, I have great support from my girls and the people on here and if I was in your dad's shoes would want to be told how much I am loved...Tell him and ask him questions, you will soon know by testing the water with a few simple questions if he wants to answer or is indeed able to answer. Write them down as that takes them out of your head for a while at least.

Miss your Dad, but also remember the good times as all those thoughts and memories are in your head forever.

Keep on coming on here and charting your journey as it helps all who read it as well as yourself. I see that in amongst all your pain and turmoil you are helping others by telling them your story and sympathising as you did on another string a few moments ago.

Stand Strong and keep doing what you are doing.

Tony x

Just a note to say I hope both you and your dad are keeping well. How did it go with him on your last visit? This news must have come as a horrible shock to you all, cancer is so cruel and cunning. You are going through a very difficult time but you sound very strong and down to earth and we are all here to help you as much as we can. Maybe it would be a nice thing to get a few favourite photos of you and him together and tell him why these memories mean so much to you? Even if he is confused, he might remember something, and it's nice to remember times of joy in a period of your life where you struggle a bit more. Keep us in your thoughts, as you are in ours, and remember to post, when you are up to it. It sounds as though your dad knows how much he is loved x

Hope your day was ok. Thank you for your reply, I love the idea that you would do a sailing race in memory of him? Would be a great way to celebrate your dad's life. At least he is at home with people who love him, is MacMillan going to help out too? You and the other posters are also helping me. In a way it hurts to post, and it's sad to see there are so many of us on this thread, but reading all of your stories makes me face emotions I didn;t know I had with respect to my mum' illness and I think I can bear it that little bit easier knowing people here can relate to what my family is going through. My mum has secondary breast cancer which has spread to her liver, bones and lymph nodes. We were told on 15th December she had around 8-12 weeks but the oncologist said yesterday that she was pleased with mum's condition and they will continue chemo for the time being. At first she refused all treatment point blank, but then said she would accept it, not sure what changed her mind. I was all over the place at first, and sure i will struggle in the weeks ahead, but just want to do what I can for my mum, same as I'm sure you want to do for your dad. It's good that your sister is home, she must have felt terrible not being there, and at least you can support your mum and each other. It must be difficult when your dad is confused, is that because of the Oxycodin or pain meds perhaps? Hopefully he is comfortable, even if it doesn't seem that way to you. Take care and lots of hugs x x x Let us know how you are

PS Could you perhaps work out some arrangement with your employer about time off?