My Mum was diagnosed with breast cancer in September 2008. She had chemotherapy and radiotherapy but point blank refused a mastectomy. She is really stubborn and said she came into the world with both breasts and was going out with both and now it looks like she is!
I really don't know what's going on though!! My Mum lives a two hour drive away from me and I am a single mother to an 11 month old baby and I work part time and it is really hard for me to travel down to see her a lot. I speak to her on the phone but she doesn't tell me the whole story. She lives with her husband who is very controlling and he resents her speaking to her children (me and my brother), he was always like this even before she had cancer. This is why they live so far away, it's like he's taken her away in my eyes.
Well anyway, after my Mum had all the treatments, a few months later she rang me out of the blue and said she'd been back to hospital and said that the cancer had come back and there's nothing they can do but they won't tell her how long she has left! Alls I know is that she is now in a hospice for a few days which she says is because she soiled herself in bed at home and because they need to do scans! Also she recently had a chest infection and the nurses wanted her to go into the hospice then but she refused. Also, my Mum has to have dressings on her breast because it leaks! I'm not sure what this means, she said it is the fluid around the tumour! I know I sound totally clueless but i am, my Mum won't tell me or my brother anything but just vague details and my mum's husband doesn't even want us in the picture. I think my Mum doesn't tell us because she doesn't want to worry us but it is so worrying not knowing as well!
I just feel like I could burst into tears whenever I think about my mum dying. The last time I saw my Mum was Christmas Eve, and she looked really weak and had troubling standing and walking. I just feel really down about things, I've had post natal depression and I am raising my baby alone and my Mum got diagnosed with her cancer around the same time as my 20 week scan, I feel like I could just burst with worry at any minute. Is there anywhere I can find out more information about what's happening, I don't want to ask my Mum because sometimes when I bring it up she gets upset and I don't want to upset her. Also, I feel really mean that i'm not seeing my Mum more but it's so hard, I have absolutely no one to look after my baby, I have a childminder when i'm at work but I can't afford to pay to use her any other time, money is really tight and my baby's dad is useless, I have no other family and all my friends have young babies themselves!
I just want everything to be okay but i know it's not going to be.
