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6 Replies Last post: 28-Feb-2010 15:28 by leanndale

mum has lung cancer that has spread to brain

02-Feb-2010 23:49

honey 9 posts since
02-Feb-2010

hi, i've been reading these forms for 2 months but this is my first time writing. My mum was told she had lung cancer o 17/11/09 and on 17/12/09 she was told it was spread to 2 spots on the brain.Up untill now i've been " coping " but things have started to go down hill, i dont know how i can do this you see im the "STRONG" one in the familly its all falling on me i normally like it like that i like the feeling of beeing in control and relied on but im getting no comfort from it at the moment im helpless.My mum cant walk with out help, to day she had trouble with her speach,she sleeps most of the day,eats very little,and at times shakes so bad she cant take a drink or feed herself.I wish i knew how long we had or what to expect next

kshack22 1 posts since
03-Feb-2010

1. 03-Feb-2010 20:20

in response to: honey

Re: mum has lung cancer that has spread to brain

Hi, let me start by saying how sorry I am. My mum had lung cancer, with secondary in brain, and she died on Jan 2nd. I'm not sure we should compare, as I'm sure everybodys experience is different. But what I can say is please make sure you do all the things you need to do with your mum, and say all that you need to say. My mum died very quickly after her diagnosis, and I know I am still in a state of disbelief and shock, she was only 61, but I did spend as much time with her as I could, and we said all we needed to say, I was holding her hand when she died. She told me she was scared of dying alone, and I take some small comfort in knowing she didn't. These things have helped me, and even though I know I still have an uphill battle, when I think of the time we had, it helps. I hope that you will be able to find a way through this also. You may well be the strong one, but don't let this stop you from asking for support, and keep reading the forums, I find they really help. X

honey 9 posts since
02-Feb-2010

2. 04-Feb-2010 00:24

in response to: kshack22

Re: mum has lung cancer that has spread to brain

Thanks for your kind reply, im so sorry to hear your mum had such a short time before she passed , it must of been very hard for you it takes a bit of time for the news to sink in, i just felt numb for a few weeks, you didnt get much time to prosess your thoughts. My mum is 65 a young 65, she was working up till the day she went into hospital for tests.Things have gone down hill since then , she stayed at home for a while and one of us would stay the night and go to work the next morning from her house , she was scared of being on her own at night , two weeks ago she moved back to my dads ( they've been seperated with 20 years) and i've moved in to look after her. I have a husband and 3 children but there at home the kids come to me in the evenings after school for a few hours but i miss not being at home with them, myself and my husband had been having some problems befor all this and we havent talked in weeks apart from kid talk.Mum needs me know and it may only be for a very short time so i dont mind putting my life on hold for a while. Each day i notice a new syimtion she has only mild pain thank god but mum the person is less and less each day not so much that shes weaker or falling away, but the essence of her is gone shes more child like i dont realy know if she notices that she misses her mouth when shes eating or that she cant hold the glass by herself or that i pull her tousers down before she sits on the toilet.......i hope she dosent realy notice.The hospic nurses are calling 3 or 4 days a week, mums been to tired and unsteady on her feet to put her to the trouble of hospital visits, there was no hope, she had 5 doses of radiaton to try and skrink the tumors in the brain but the results were very tempory shes due back to see the radiologist next week but i dont think we'll go, even if her ofered more it made her sleep for two weeks after the last lot and she only got 2 good..ish weeks before things started to go down again.Im going to go to bed now , i sleep with her so i can hear her if she trys to get up at night she cant realy walk wiht out help but she trys.Goodnight for now, know that your mum is at peace and you done all that you could for her im glad you got the chance to tell her all that needed saying im thinking of you and hope things get better with time...xxx Lisa.

enjoyLIFE 2 posts since
02-Feb-2010

3. 04-Feb-2010 09:07

in response to: honey

Re: mum has lung cancer that has spread to brain

Hi there,

I am sorry to her about your mum. Your story sounds almost identical to my nans,however, she was actually diagnosed with lung cancer about 3 years ago. She lived pretty much pain free. However, a few weeks before xmas, we found it had spread to her brain, just 2 small tumours. She was put on steroids as radiotherapy wasnt really a realistic option due to her age and her frailness since the brain tumours gave her headaches, and she had had flu during the winter.. However, we lived in hope (or denial..?), but she soon detiorated and became unable to walk, and her muscles wasted due to the steroids.

She went into hospital about 2 weeks ago, where we hoped she would return home to be cared for, but unfortunately she died quite suddenly, but peacefully last week.

Unfortunately, the prognosis for what my nan had was never good,although she did have 3 years with us after being initially diagnosed with the lung cancer.. I regret not doing more with her, in a way I also regret not accepting that her time was coming as we didnt expect her to go so soon after the diagnosis that it had spred to her brain, even though it seemed clear that the end of her life was coming.

Just try and enjoy the time you have with your mum as she is alive. Yes, it is hard trying to come to terms when your loved one is detiorationg. I dont think i have accepted that my nan has gone yet.

Best wishes to you.

honey 9 posts since
02-Feb-2010

4. 05-Feb-2010 00:45

in response to: enjoyLIFE

Re: mum has lung cancer that has spread to brain

thank you enjoylife,i'm sorry to here you have regrets about not doing enough for your nan but im sure she never saw it like that, it takes time to process the news and we all deal with it in different ways. I'm practable my sister says the doing comes easy, she's more emotional and deals more with the" lets talk about are feelings", my brothers the "its not really happening one " he cracks jokes makes light of situations and often goes missing for days at a time but we all love having him around. Were all different and i'm sure you were very special to your nan, you mousy be special to take time to post messages to help and encourage others Take care and do as your name says enjoy life your nan would want you to..x

enjoyLIFE 2 posts since
02-Feb-2010

5. 05-Feb-2010 08:08

in response to: honey

Re: mum has lung cancer that has spread to brain

Thanks Honey...

...I think I would fall into the "its not happening one" category...which is why I do regret not being there, but like you say, everyone deals with things differently, and I am sure that my nan knew that I cared.

This seems really weird as only a few weeks ago I was lurking around this websites forums looking at peoples stories, advice , seeing whose stories compared with mine etc ...this what at a time when my nan was still alive. And now I write its as shes gone, back then her death was just something I could not comtemplate as being a reality.So here i am now.

So Honey , best wishes to you and your family. Your story is very touching due to its comparison with mine and my thoughts are with you and your mum at this difficult time. Many thanks for your message. x

leanndale 14 posts since
28-Feb-2010

6. 28-Feb-2010 15:28

in response to: kshack22

Re: mum has lung cancer that has spread to brain

i feel my heart is ripped in two .my mum gt the al clear last sat for breast cancer bt this wk we were then told its spread how cruel is that???i dnt knw how to act n be strong for the kids its soooo hard im glad i found this web site x leann

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mum has lung cancer that has spread to brain

02-Feb-2010 23:49

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