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5 Replies Last post: 12-Mar-2010 11:03 by Poshspice

HOW DO YOU COPE?

18-Feb-2010 16:06

gazellebabog 3 posts since
05-Feb-2010

Hello,

I am new to this website, and wondered if there is anyone who can tell me how they cope with the fear of cancer, suffering and dying. I had breast cancer for 10 years. After 4 operations and treatments, it has gone, but I live with constant fear. Recently I had a bone scan which looked "suspicious" and now I have to have an ex-ray. This was due to a back pain I had from moving furniture. The pain has now gone, but the fear remains. How do others cope with that ice-cold feeling of dread? I have changed my life and now do all I can to help people and animals. This helps me a lot, but the nightmares return at night, and every little pain fills me with terror. My mother died recently and I wonder where she is and if she can hear me - and if I will ever see her again. I would greatly appreciate any positive feedback or comforting words from anyone with similar experiences.

Many thanks and blessings to you.

imabloke 251 posts since
19-Jun-2008

1. 18-Feb-2010 18:58

in response to: gazellebabog

Re: HOW DO YOU COPE?

Personally i think the fear never goes away, we all just kinda learn to put it to the back of our minds.

I've found the longer it goes on, the bigger the gaps get between times when i think its gonna reappear.

Have you thought about some counselling maybe?

We all cope in different way, some can handle the fear better than others, this doesnt mean you're weak in any way ok!!!!!

As for your life changing....i can totally relate to that, cancer has made me a much better person, more considerate etc.

Good luck, 10 years eh? gotta be something right there then!!

gazellebabog 3 posts since
05-Feb-2010

2. 18-Feb-2010 19:42

in response to: imabloke

Re: HOW DO YOU COPE?

Thank, Imabloke, for your sweet reply. Its nice to know someone knows how I feel. I am hoping for another ten years - yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift - that's why its called THE PRESENT.

All the very best to you.

Gazellebabog.

grannynanny6 10 posts since
20-Feb-2010

3. 20-Feb-2010 09:44

in response to: gazellebabog

Re: HOW DO YOU COPE?

Hi there! I have written a new blog here called a different perspective, also a piece in the dying with cancer forum. I urge you to read them! Do not be afraid! Think of the days you are missing quivering under the duvet in fear! Grab life by the balls and enjoy and savour every minute! It is not for everyone but it is how I cope! If you want to chat feel free

Love and prayers

Grannynanny!http://www.cancerchat.org.uk/clearspacex/images/emoticons/cool.gif!

Smoochy 1 posts since
11-Mar-2010

4. 11-Mar-2010 22:54

in response to: gazellebabog

Re: HOW DO YOU COPE?

Hi, I have gone 4 years now and still get the cold runs of internal panic but have to quell the inner dread every time I feel off or down, I try however hard to drive the feelings deep as I can, and constantly assure myself I am fine, reassure yourself and try to take control of your fears by calming your feelings, breathing slowly and deeply helps calm a tense situation, I always think of my two Girls and this lifts me so so much to go on and be positive.

I have a stronger faith now than ever before my ilness, and I do believe your loved ones do hear you, do not stop talking to them for they can hear you but not reply.

I hope this helps you, sorry not very good with words!

Regards

Tim

Poshspice 12 posts since
02-Mar-2010

5. 12-Mar-2010 11:06

in response to: gazellebabog

Re: HOW DO YOU COPE?

Hi

I've been on this site about a week and have just noticed your post. I was dx last November and am undergoing chemo at the moment. Everyone is different with the way they handle the posibilty of death but I cope by keeping a journal. I know it sounds so 18th century, but it is amazing how much better I feel after I have written in it. It is a chance to be completely selfish and self absorbed without worrying about "boring" someone with your aches and pains tirade. I started my journal when my mum died 18 months ago and it is the one place I can truely be myself, pour out my most inner feelings and can ask questions and (quite often) answer them myself. I keep it all on a memory stick and only I can see it. That is part of the appeal because I can write exactly what I feel because no one will ever read it.

I also have a close friend who lost her teenage daughter last year. She writes letters to her. It is all done on the computer and she saves them and I think one day when she feels stronger she will find some comfort in reading them.

Hope you find some peace, Tina xxxx

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